jokes

5 Things which can happen only in Bollywood Movies

+88

1. At least one of the identical twins born is evil.
2. While defusing a bomb,don’t worry which wire to cut,you will always choose the right one.
3. A police can solve a case only when he is suspended from duty.
4. A hero will show no pain while getting beaten up but will show pain when a woman is trying to clean his wound.
5. If you decide to start dancing on street,everyone you meet will know the step.

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Gold Medal Winner

+30

Tom, the Commonwealth Gold Medal runner, was on his way to a bar with some friends.
At the door, the bouncer turned to him and said “Sorry, mate, you can’t come in here – no denim.”
Tom was quite annoyed at this and retorted, “Don’t you know who I am? I’m Tom, the gold medal winner in 400m .”
“Then it won’t take you long to run home and change, will it?” replied the bouncer.
Submitted by zanny.

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Finding Her Place

+20

On her way back from the theater sitting, a blonde asked a man at the end of the row, “Pardon me, but did I step on your foot a few minutes ago?”
Man hoping for an apology said, “Indeed you did.”
Blonde nodded, and said, “Oh good. Then this is my row.”
Submitted by zanny.

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Boy and Teacher

+133

Teacher : whoever answers my next question, can go home.
One boy throws his bag out the window
Teacher : who just threw that?!
Boy : Me! I’m going home now.
Submitted by tousif.

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Knows When to Stop

+55

A man walks into a bar and orders one shot. Then he looks into his shirt pocket and orders another shot. After he finishes, he looks into his shirt pocket again and orders another shot.
The bartender is curious and asks him “every time you order a shot, you look in your shirt pocket. Why?”
The man replies, “I have a picture of my wife in my pocket and when she starts to look good, I go home.”
Submitted by Carl.

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Violent Thunderstorm

+26

An airliner flew into a violent thunderstorm and was soon swaying and bumping around the sky.
One very nervous lady happened to be sitting next to a clergyman and turned to him. “Can’t you do something?” she demanded angrily.
“I’m sorry ma’am,” the reverend said gently, “I’m in sales, not management.”
Submitted by Olivia.

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Mr Angry – Golfing

+25

A very angry golfer was on his way to carding a round of 150. He turned to his caddy and said’, You must be the worst caddy in the world.’
‘That would be too much of a coincidence, sir’, answered the caddy in a quiet voice.
Submitted by Jacob.

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Chatty Parrot

+24

There was a family that had a parrot that was always embarrassing them by cussing and other stuff like that.
So one day the boy took the parrot and stuck him in the freezer.Two hours later the squawking stopped.
The kid checked the freezer and the parrot said, “Okay I’ll stop cussing, but I have one question”.
The boy said, “What”?
The Parrot asks, “What did the turkey do”???
Submitted by zanny.